you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
