i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
