just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
