epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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