a queef is a wish your heart makes.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize