...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize