singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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