I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
