My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
