Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
