shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
