last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
