After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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