In the future we'll all be gay
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
