after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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