I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
