nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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