GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
