Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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