that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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