so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
