I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
