My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
