I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
