No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ugly people sure do ruin things
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
