Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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