How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
