Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Farmville is her only friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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