You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
