I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dignity is for republicans.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
