The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
