arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize