remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
