mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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