took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
