The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
