Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize