Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
me + whiskey = a bad person
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i think i just lost a toe
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
