She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
