we have pet lesbian snakes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
