please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
