i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
