Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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