I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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