No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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