Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
