well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
