If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
