As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
try to milk me bitch
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