the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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