Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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