An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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