p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
