There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
