Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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