wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
