your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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