Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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