I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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