wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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