Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
