I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
