even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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