Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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