can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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