HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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